BACKGROUND
The story in the passage we are considering started in a time of difficulty in the land of Israel, when things were not working well, the days the Judges ruled when there was lawlessness in the land (Jud. 5:6-7). The highways were deserted in the words of Deborah the Judge, “Village life had ceased”. It can be likened to the Nigerian situation today where citizens are afraid the ply the road in travels for fear of kidnappers, Killer Fulani herdsmen and bandits on the highways.
It was a time of famine and a man named Elimelech with his wife Naomi and their two sons Mahlon & Chilion sojourned to Moab in order to flee the hardship in Israel, same as is happening here in Nigeria the ‘Japa’ syndrome, wherein our young people especially professionals are fleeing the country in large numbers to seek better lives elsewhere. Elimelech lived with his family in Moab for a while but he unfortunately died leaving his wife and sons who grew and later took Moabite wives by the name Orpah and Ruth from the country they lived. They lived with their wives about 10 years when tragedy struck again, the two sons also died leaving Naomi with her two daughters-in-law. Naomi was left with no husband, no sons, no grandchildren of hers except her two daughters-in-law. It was at this stage in her life that Naomi heard the good news of abundance in Israel, it was well again with her people back at home and the Lord had given them bread; Naomi decided to return home to her people. Orpah and Ruth who apparently lived with her decided to follow her but she persuaded them with very strong and good reasons to return home to their families with her blessing. While Orpah returned, Ruth insisted on following her.
Just like it was with them, the prayer for a better Nigeria continues, there came abundance in the land of famine. So shall it be with Nigeria, there will come a time when the Lord will heal the land and bring about restoration.
THE PASSAGE
Ruth 1:16-17 [16]And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
[17]Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
Wow! This sounds like another wedding vow – “till death do us part”.
The teaching of the Bible concerning marriage is that it is nullified upon death (Rom 7:1-3). The young women, at this point were free to move on with their lives and Naomi encouraged them to do so, even recommending that they should re-marry and start another family but, Ruth would not hear of such.
THE TOPIC: RUTH – THE VIRTUOUS DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
Who was Ruth? Ruth was a young Moabite woman who married an Israelite residing in their country, therefore became a daughter in law to an Israelite family. Moabites do not worship the true God of Israel. More about the history of Moab can be seen in Num. 25:1-10, Deut. 23:3-6, Rev. 2:14. The Moabites were brought in to seduce the Israelites into sexual immorality and idolatry as recommended by Balaam in order for the curse to hold against Israel. The Lord’s anger burned against His people for the detestable acts they allowed themselves fall into with the Moabites, and a plague broke out that 24,000 Israelites died until Phinehas had to literarily drive a spear into a fellow Israelite who brought in a prostitute to sleep with while the plague was on and others were lamenting before God.
What is virtue? Has to do the quality of behaviour that shows a high moral standard. Some of the traits one exhibits that can be attributed to virtue are: patience, humility, kindness, care, compassion, hard-work, diligence, faithfulness, respect etc. Prov. 31:10-31 has a pictorial description of a woman considered to be virtuous.
From the topic: Ruth – (a Moabite) The Virtuous Daughter-in-Law, some inconsistencies can be spotted. Moab and virtue ordinarily, should not go together because, they are a people rejected by God, God himself did not find virtue in them. Nevertheless, a young girl from a detestable and rejected background worked to make herself virtuous even before the people of God.
This takes us to the 1st thing to learn from the life of Ruth; which is – Virtue is learned! Virtue is taught!We may have some inherent traits in us that make us seem good and acceptable. However, we know that in the degenerated state of a man in sin, at best, our good behaviour is conditional or temporal until situations test us. A deliberate step has to be taken to learn virtue.
APPLICATION FROM THE LIFE OF RUTH AND NAOMI
1. Learn virtue and teach virtue to your children.
The Ruth we are celebrating today as a virtuous woman is not the same Ruth who was born into a Moabite family worshipping strange gods. We are celebrating the evolved Ruth who learned virtue and took a deliberate step of faith and walked into a life of covenant. Virtue as in good character should be taught from home to children in upbringing or as the case in our story, can be learned by deliberately choosing its path.
How are we raising our children, our daughters and our sons? Even though we are dwelling on Ruth a female character who built virtue, the same applies to our boys. We raise fantastic girls with the intention of building their future home at the detriment of raising the boys who grow to still remain boy in oversized bodies instead of men. These boys grow to become bullies, lazy, and irresponsible men that cannot join hands with the well raised girls to build a Christian home. The Points is – raise your children well boys and girls alike, let them develop good characters and skills so that virtue will be celebrated in future.
For the young people looking to become someone’s wife or husband, you have to build virtue, stop blaming your parents for bad parenting, you are now an adult and should take responsibility of
your actions, work on your traits that need working on. Learn to accommodate people, learn manners, learn how to care for yourself and your environment. Don’t wait for someone’s mother to train you as a wife in marriage, so also don’t wait for someone’s daughter to come into your life to make you responsible as a man. (marrying a wife for an irresponsible man so that he can settle down). Ruth was willing and able to learn virtue.
2. Build your relationships – spouses & in-laws
This is a wakeup call for couples to build their relationships where there are leakages and cracks in their marriages, please pay the price and work it out. We are raising a generation of young people who have a distorted image of what marriage is, they think marriage is all about romance like the love stories we watch or read about. When honeymoon is over that is when the real marriage begins, the hard work, commitment, and love all are tested, no marriage will escape that. That is when you see the result of ill prepared couples. A lot needs to be done in our pre-marital counselling, the background check and work for a good home foundation should be done before marriage not remedial after marriage.
Young women: Nowadays we discover that young ladies come into marriage with the mindset of “no gree for anybody” like the popular slogan for year 2024 in Nigeria. They come in with the readiness to fight anyone and everyone who stands in their way. Sometimes they even fight those who are trying to befriend them and end up creating enemies out of in-laws. They fail to recognize that the way to win is not only by fighting.
If you are planning to get married, gird yourself with virtue and strength to build your home not with the intention to destroy it before you even start building. A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish one tears her down with her hands. You hear some of them say “I don’t take nonsense” failing to recognize that they were not married into families to tear or divide them but to contribute your own quota in building and uniting it. If you are married and fighting your in-laws, lay down your arms and pick up virtue, learn virtue!
On the flip side, there are very difficult in-laws who never find anything good in wives married into their families. Such are not good grounds for nurturing Christian marriages and they should repent because marriage is not meant to be slavery for the woman. A couple should be free to live their lives in fulfillment as they pursue the purpose they believe God is giving them as a family. Good background checks are encouraged on your intending spouse and family before marriage and good communication in marriage can handle a lot of family issues.
Older women:
There is a need to balance the message, as young women have been charged to be teachable, the older women too need to be addressed. Before a virtuous Ruth emerged, was a virtuous Naomi… Ruth, the virtuous daughter-in-law was made and nurtured by a virtuous mother-in-law by name Naomi. (Tit.2:3-5, Older women to teach younger women)
Lead in a loving and nonjudgmental way and watch your daughter-in-law warm up to you and seek your motherly guide. That you do things a particular way in your home does not mean everyone must follow suit, allow the young woman to make her own mistakes, discoveries and
build her home. Remember, your son’s home is not supposed to be a replica or an extension of your own, it has its own unique purpose in God’s plan. Teach her godly principles and allow her build her own home, it is her God given mandate, not yours.
From the tone of the conversation in previous verses between Naomi and her daughters in law (v.8-9) you can deduce that Naomi was a great mother-in-law, for them to be willing to remain with the old woman without their husbands without children. She was constantly watching out for their good, evidently seen when she blessed them and sent them on their way. There is no way Naomi would lead the way she did and not get loyal daughters-in-law who were ready to commit to her for life and be worthy daughters even in the absence of their husbands. Note that these were Moabite women – unbelievers. They were two of them for Naomi to handle, perhaps one would be easier going and cooperative than the other. They were not coming from families with good reputation because the Israelites were even forbidden from marrying them, what did Naomi do? Criticize them for not being good enough for her sons? No! she accepted them as the choice of her sons, looked out for their best interest and patiently taught them the right way, in love, that at a point they were ready to commit to her for life and as Ruth said “thy people shall be my people and your God my God.
In a world where some mothers-in-law & daughters-in-law have drawn battle lines… (where is that evil coming from ?) What could have transpired between the two that even after the death of their husbands, they were willing to remain and Ruth in particular willingly putting herself under such a vow? Ponder on this.
The men:
As much as the woman is expected to be part of your family, you are also part of her family and need to build the relationship with her family. There are also stories of fathers & sons-in-law who do not see eye to eye.
Mahlon and Chilion were good husbands to their wives, ask how I know…
- A woman who could raise godly, virtuous women out of her daughters-in-law from a godless background couldn’t have done less with her children.
- Also, the commitment of the daughters to the marriage (living with the mother-in-law) even when their husbands had died, goes a long way to say they enjoyed their marriage and the company of their mother-in-law. If not, they would have left immediately and even blamed her for not raising her sons well, had they been treated badly by their husbands.
It is needful to point that:
- There are families who have built their relationships very well to the point that marriage has become a blessing. Husbands and wives have bonded into one, they praise God and pray for their spouses wellbeing, mothers & daughters-in-law are blessed with another mother and daughter in You can choose to benefit from the blessing or turn yours into a curse, the ball is in your court. We charge you to build your relationships today.
3. Envy and bitterness is a choice, shun it!
Naomi had a cause to be bitter, she lost everything in Moab, she came to Moab full after spending her youthful age and now in old age, she was leaving empty with nothing to fall back on. She was in pain that she asked to be called Mara(bitterness) not Naomi but she did not transfer her pain or turn aggressive on her daughters-in-law. There was no account that mentioned Naomi insulting her daughters-in-law for lacking home training, calling them barren, blaming them for not bearing grandchildren for her or for the death of their husbands. She didn’t blame the Moabite women for bringing bad luck to her family. Surely Naomi was not a Nigerian because some poor ‘village people’, bad luck from the wife or someone must always be responsible for our misfortune. Instead, she looked to God as the one with whom she had a case, knowing everything was of God.
That you didn’t enjoy your marriage does not mean everyone must suffer in theirs. That your husband is not treating you well doesn’t mean your son should not treat his wife well. In some cases, it may be the sisters-in-law who are bitter because they think the brother is spoiling his wife while they languish in theirs. Free yourself and free others. You made your choice of a life partner and they made theirs. Sorry if your marriage isn’t working and things didn’t turn out the way you thought, but don’t block God’s mercy upon you by victimizing those enjoying theirs.
Men are encouraged to ‘spoil’ that is pamper their wives and take care of them, it is only in so doing that your wife can be at her best and pour forth virtue from within, relate well with you and your family and also keep bitterness far off. If she is maltreated by your mother, sisters or family members, it is your duty to protect and defend her, teach them how to treat your wife. Remember you made a vow before God and his church to protect, love and care for her; you shall still stand before Him to give an account of stewardship of having her.
Conclusion
We are concluding here learning from the life of Ruth and Naomi how to learn virtue, build our relationships and run from bitterness (transfer of aggression). Time will not permit us to take a look at the benefits of building such relationships from their lives; how this relationship, commitment and love they built helped in shaping their future and making a woman from a rejected background become a record holder in Israel and become part of the linage of Christ. Also enriching a woman who had lost everything to have compensation in her old age, having a daughter-in-law who became worth more than ten sons. Their story teaches us that indeed God does not reject anyone but our evil deeds and that when we choose the path of honour, our backgrounds do not matter, He will accept us and place us in a seat of honour.
We are charged with the lessons from their lives and encouraged to
- Learn and teach virtue
- Build
- Shun envy and
In the name of the Father, Son & Holy Spirit…
